THERE’S NUMEROUS AREAS OF PERSONAL GROWTH YOU CAN FOCUS ON.
So when you lace up those Nikes and set out on the road to self-development, how do you know where to put your energy and where your behavioral patterns are rooted?
I’ll let you in on a little secret: my incredible mentors + personal experience + research has taught me that those dozens upon dozens of areas of personal-growth are actually varying levels, degrees, and versions of the same problems. That’s right. The same problems. There’s a span of only 5-10 issues that the majority of the population deals with on a regular basis as they move into a journey to better develop themselves mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.
If you’re ready to learn more – keep reading, you’re in the right place.
I spent years living in denial before I allowed myself to begin waking up (although looking back, it was more like life violently shook me awake, as it tends to do…) My social media reflected a wonderful, beautiful life with an acting career I worked hard at and loved, refreshing frappuccinos under the Los Angeles sun, red carpets, hot heels, leisurely yoga, and work days on set with some of my favorite celebrities. My life looked wonderful, people around me thought my life was wonderful – and I became a pro at pushing any and all emotions that told me otherwise down. But eventually, as it usually does, denial began waking up. It stretched, looked around, and thought, “Holy crap, what a disaster this life is.” I had to start accepting that in reality, I’d spent years living in what can only be described as varying degrees of depression, pain, anxiety. The extremity of the darkness would shift based on circumstances and what I was or wasn’t going through at any given time, but was always present. I had to start facing consequences of where my life was – emotional, mental, and physical ones. The more I woke up, the more pissed off I became at this realization that I’d wasted so many years living in the dark. I could bury my head in the sand and continue on the way I was going – or I could use my pissed-off-ness as motivation to trudge through my darkness, hell bent on finding answers.
Around that time, I engaged in a survey activity with my then-friend-turned-now-mentor Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love. One of the questions was a version of where did I see myself in 5 years? Sitting on my floor covered in tears and snot, I realized that if I were honest with myself and with TDL team, between depression & disordered eating I may not be around at all in 5 years – and I’d be in bad shape if I were and chose to continue living the way I had been. So trudge I did.
I peeled off layer after layer, more and more horrified at how well I’d used my acting abilities and designed a “cover life” that looked beautiful & shiny on the outside. Under my cover life were about five different “categories” I found that my demons could all cozily fit into, which we’ll talk about more below. From there I worked to find the common denominator in all those areas and – guess what? The common denominator was me. 100% of what I was seeing & experiencing in my life came down to a skewed sense of self-worth. Self-esteem. Confidence. Morale. Dignity. Whatever word you place on it, how much or how little you value yourself has an infiniti-fold effect on every area of your life without you even knowing it. As those effects take place they begin rooting toxic patterns, behaviors, habits, and in many cases physical harm, until they become as natural to you as breathing.
You’re here because you’re experiencing some or all of these same struggles in your own life. You relate to some part of the above that stopped you in your tracks and left you thinking, “That’s me.” Maybe you’re still working on getting out of denial, maybe you’re on the fence of acceptance, or maybe you’re already fully aware of your reality and working desperately to shed the toxicity around you that your lack of self-worth has created. Regardless of where you are in your journey – you’re understood here, you’re safe, and you’re strong enough to move forward into a better way of life.
AREAS OF YOUR LIFE THAT LOW SELF-WORTH LIKES TO TARGET
Maybe you feel so utterly unattractive in your own skin that you can’t imagine how someone of the opposite sex could desire you. Or you’ve researched plastic surgery to tweak that one area of your physical form that would, in your mind, change your life. Maybe an accident or medical treatment has left your appearance different than it previously was and settling into yourself is an ongoing struggle. Maybe you’ve avoided swimsuits for years – possibly your entire lifetime. You cancel or decline plans to avoid having to get ready. Or maybe you struggle with disordered eating – which two-thirds of women do.
A romantic relationship is never, under any circumstances, supposed to leave you feeling like less of a person; endlessly working to prove yourself, your value, your worth – waiting for some fleeting words or actions from your partner to finally make you feel accepted, safe, worthy. Love is never supposed to inject constant toxicity into your life, your heart, your veins – leaving you crushed, debilitated, paralyzed. Love is not supposed to leave you so empty from giving yet so malnourished from lack of replenishing. Relationships featuring some or all of the traits above lead to your loss of power, loss of self, and in a pattern of consistently accepting less than you deserve.
Damaged self-worth can leave you isolated. Safe, comfy, protected. Maybe you bow out of social commitments or bow out of creating friendships altogether. Networking events are excruciating. You can’t possibly have anything to say of value to people you’ll be meeting – what did they do in a past life to deserve listening to you fumble for talking points, praying for the floor to open up and swallow you? Maybe you don’t even want to be around yourself at times – why would anyone else? What’s wrong with hanging out with Ben & Jerry every night instead of actual, flesh & blood people?
Maybe you have a job you love. You’re skilled, talented, motivated, you deliver results. Maybe you make a great living, landed right where you planned on in your career path. But you go home at the end of the day without the sense of pride or fulfillment you know should come along with the work you put in.
Or maybe you have a job you despise. You’re unhappy, unfulfilled, putting money in the bank and that’s it. The entire sum of why you do it. Maybe you put up with being treated like crap or allow yourself to float under the radar of those who could level up your work and in turn, your lifestyle. Month after month, year after year, you allow your mental, physical, emotional, & spiritual self to be affected by the negativity swimming in your veins by the end of your work day.
Tomorrow is going to be different. Next week, next month, next summer. You know there’s a self-care routine out there waiting for you, it’s just a matter of life lining up so you have the time to start practicing it. Right? Care of your physical body – you have the gym membership, healthy recipes pinned on Pinterest, yoga videos, a bathroom cabinet stocked with face masks, whitening strips, deep conditioners, self-tanners.
Caring for your spiritual & emotional self – meditation, breathing exercises, setting healthy boundaries. You’ve journaled, audio-book listened, identified stresses and maybe even have a few tools for when they arise. But do you use the tools? 3 glasses of wine, an all-out confrontation with someone who hurt you, or maybe just a 14-hour nap feels way better than actually sitting with your emotions and feeling through them.
DID YOU FIND YOURSELF SOMEWHERE ON THIS PAGE?
More importantly, are you ready to make a change?
I work with private clients one-on-one in a variety of ways, including Skype, telephone, and face-to-face same city. Flexible options such as monthly and yearly packages are available and can be adjusted to fit your time commitment and financial needs, as well as to cater to where you are in your journey.
If you work well in a “small group setting” and are interested in an overview of some changes you can make in your life to work toward the best version of yourself, I offer tele-classes that host a total of 5-8 women with common goals. Various topics are available, giving you the ability to choose which area of your life needs your focus, and the tele-classes are also offered at several times during the week to ensure you’re able to jump onto our calls at a convenient time for you.
My online course, Let in the Light: A 5-Week Course to Take Back Your Self Worth, is a work-at-your-own-pace, multi-week workshop that focuses on the Big Five Self Worth Wakeups you can read about above. Each week covers one topic in-depth, with a new module available the following week. You have unlimited access to the course materials, allowing you to stretch your journey out as long as needed. Course also includes access to a private Facebook group for ongoing support from myself and your fellow Gisters, as well as to serve as an outlet for questions, concerns, struggles, help, celebration, and more.
Does one of these options sound right for you?For rates, scheduling, and package options please contact:[email protected]I’ll get back to you within 24 hours to schedule a phone call.
If you are experiencing an emergency call 911, the National Suicide Hotline at (800) 273-8255, or seek professional treatment.Disclaimer