Hi. I’m Amanda.

And I’ve started this blog 2,389 times and have no reason to believe this start with be any different that the other starts, which ended with lots of weird spam comments about buying handbags in China. But I’m hopeful.

I’m a bulimic and compulsive eater with Major Depressive Disorder, generalized anxiety, and an ICD, or Impulsivity Control Disorder (which is a very fancy way of saying I bite the shit out of my fingers/fingernails until they bleed). I’m an ex-girlfriend who finally went No Contact last year from an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship with a narcissistic personality, a suicide prevention advocate who has spent more time than I’m comfortable admitting suicidal, and an actress who recently ditched Hollywood’s bullshit standards to work on healing and actually liking whoever I am when I’m not who my agents told me to be.

This evening, January 14th, 2017, after a particularly bizarre and confusingly emotional day, I sat in bed with my dog snoring next to me trying to figure out what the hell I needed to do for myself at the moment. I didn’t figure out what that thing was but I did come up with 4 things as alternatives:

  1. Go to Barnes & Noble and buy one of the books from my ever-growing book list.
  2. Eat something. Anything, really.
  3. Write.
  4. Drive with The Lumineer’s Ophelia playing as high as it’ll go.


And then, I did all of the things.

Wanna share?


  1. Ranae Janelle


    I am so thankful our paths crossed on Instagram and to find your blog. Thanks be to magical bunnies hopping around in the snow. 🙂 Although our stories are different, I too struggle with my relationship to food, am a recovering EXTREME nail biter and am attempting to love myself more just as I am, setting healthy boundaries for myself and reducing my co dependent tendencies. Thank you for honestly and bravely sharing your story. Your presence in this world is so necessary. You are doing what many never dream themselves capable of doing. Love & Light to you my friend as you continue on this journey.

  2. Erin K


    I’m so glad you decided to just write. I’m not here for fancy websites; I’m here for meaningful words. Your website doesn’t have to be beautiful for your content to be relevant.

    Thanks for your raw honesty both here and on Instagram. You are brave and that inspires me to be brace. Keep speaking up because we hear you too.

    • Amanda Gist


      Gah thank you, thank you, thank you- isn’t it amazing the crap we let get in our own way? I guess I’m not here for fancy websites either, ha! Thanks for the encouragement and please keep being brave…it continues to inspire me in return and then we’re all in a big giant awesome cycle of supportiveness and courage. Love to you tonight

Speak up. I hear you.