Category Archives: BIPOLAR

What to Do When the Past No Longer Serves You.

“Old ways won’t open new doors.” Unknown This morning I was ready to quit school. Let me back up a little. It’s 2005 (okay, let me back up a lot), way back before Hollywood, and this one time, I quit school. Now it’s 2006, and I quit school again. Now it’s 2008, I quit school another time. Now, it’s 2018, this morning, and I’m standing at the Keurig while my coffee brews and battling anxiety over how today is the last day to drop courses for the semester. Because I’ve been thinking about dropping for two weeks now. Yup. Ready to quit school. Again. This quitting school has clearly become a thing I do. It’s kind of like the 382 jobs I’ve held since being of working age, because that means I’ve quit 381 jobs. And it’s never been because I’m not smart enough or don’t work hard. I’m actually […]

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Saving Me From You: Recovery & Cutting People Out of Your Life.

“Toxic relationships are dangerous to your health; they will literally kill you. Stress shortens your lifespan. Even a broken heart can kill you. There is an undeniable mind-body connection. Your arguments and hateful talk can land you in the emergency room or in the morgue. You were not meant to live in a fever of anxiety; screaming yourself hoarse in a frenzy of dreadful, panicked fight-or-flight that leaves you exhausted and numb with grief.” Bryant McGill I recently wrote a post (I’ll link it here) about cutting someone out of my life and it seemed to garner a lot of attention on my Instagram page. Turns out, pretty much everyone has experienced either cutting someone out of their own lives or having someone in their lives they should be cutting out but haven’t. Because toxic people tend to come up at times if you’re ever around, meet, engage with, form […]

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5 Reasons I’m Speaking About My Mental Health.

“You’re not a victim for sharing your story. You are a survivor setting the world on fire with your truth. And you never know who needs your light, your warmth & raging courage.” Alex Elle Okay. So it’s been a little over a year since I’ve been talking and writing and blogging and video-ing about my own mental health, which includes by association my own mental illnesses, and I’ve gotten my fair share of those who love it and those who hate it. Yes, as shocking as it is, there truly is an other side of the spectrum- regardless of how steadfastly you stand on yours. There’s those who have found they feel less alone when they find my words. Then there’s those who truly realize for the first time they have some control and some choices when it comes to their own mental health. There’s some who simply need […]

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The best way out is always through. – Robert Frost

Hi. I’m Amanda. And I’ve started this blog 2,389 times and have no reason to believe this start with be any different that the other starts, which ended with lots of weird spam comments about buying handbags in China. But I’m hopeful. I’m a bulimic and compulsive eater with Major Depressive Disorder, generalized anxiety, and an ICD, or Impulsivity Control Disorder (which is a very fancy way of saying I bite the shit out of my fingers/fingernails until they bleed). I’m an ex-girlfriend who finally went No Contact last year from an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship with a narcissistic personality, a suicide prevention advocate who has spent more time than I’m comfortable admitting suicidal, and an actress who recently ditched Hollywood’s bullshit standards to work on healing and actually liking whoever I am when I’m not who my agents told me to be. This evening, January 14th, 2017, after […]

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